Pride

PRIDE

This week was all about pride in a marriage. We learned about what it is, how it manifests itself, and how to combat its effects. According to the Webster’s dictionary, pride is “a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.” This means that we put ourselves above other people and we think that we are better than them. This can be incredibly harmful to any marriage, let alone relationship. One person will think they are better than the other one and the other person will feel put down and belittled.

In the talk Beware of Pride, the author, President Ezra Taft Benson, defines pride in this way, “Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing. The central feature of pride is enmity-enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us.” In reading through this quote, we can see how pride can cause problems in a marriage. In order to help couples avoid these and other problems, John M. Gottman has stated in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, several things to think about. He says that husbands need to learn from their wives, husbands need to be emotionally intelligent, both partners need to learn how to yield to each other, and they need to complete activities that will bring them closer together such as the Gottman Island Survival Game. These, and other activities, will help you to let your partner influence you for good.

Lastly, in the book Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, by H. Wallace Goddard, he states that we need repentance in order to overcome pride. He says, “When we humbly turn our minds, our lives, and our purposes over to God, He will refine us. We begin to see with new eyes. We feel with new warmth and goodness. We gladly give of our time and energy to bless those around us-especially those with whom we have made covenants.” We need the atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ in order to be able to make a marriage work.